Running
by SerPenTinetheSilverTongue
Summary: Kagome- She came across the same thing once again. She hoped it would never happen again. now she made a decision. Book 1 finished, Continuation will be up soon!
1. Part I: A Shattered Ending

**Part One**

**A shattered ending**

I'm running down a well worn path to the place we first met. The distance I have covered surprises me. I can't believe that I have come so far from where we were to the shock has finally worn off…

My heart finally shattered.

The day started out the same way it always did, week after week, month after month, year after year. I thought that after all this time things wouldn't come to this. Thought that you knew what we had was real. That I loved you, no matter what happened. Even after all the fights, all the arguments, all the battles we waged, won and lost. All the blood, sweat, and tears our entire group have given up willingly over the years, have seem for not.

As I duck and dodge all the low hanging branches, I continue to stumble over the roots of the trees in a forest named after you leaving the worn path to make my own. I don't feel the branches I can't see through my tears striking my face and arms, drawing my blood to trip onto the broken trail.

I feel my ankle scream in pain as I get my foot stuck in a gnarled root sticking out from the ground, stopping me from my race from my internal demons. I looked out of my still tearing eyes and the god tree comes into focus. Just looking at that tree makes me want to break down and cry more. It makes me think of all the sacrifices I have made, all the problems I brought just by falling into the well, all the death that was caused by me. I wonder about the choices I have made.

My tears have finally stopped as I realize that i can leave this place of death and destruction and go back to my time and forget this place, the pain the stupid jewel shards, and get on with my life. I can even go as far as leaving the country. The only thing I have to do is seal the well, to stop you from trying to follow me. I am not as heartbroken as I thought I would be, or am I as broken about the decision I have made. As I pass the tree that brought me to you to break the spell, I am emboldened by the rush I feel as I symbolically close this chapter on my life. I stop when I see the deep gouges in the clearing not so far from the tree.

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again._

_Maybe someday you'll have woke up,_

_And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:_

_"Isn't something missing? "_

My best friend, my sister, Sango, do you think you could forgive me for leaving you with no warning and no goodbye? Can you be happy with the way things have ended up? Will you blame him for my leaving? Will Shippo?

My son, Shippo, can you ever forgive me? I choose not to leave you by choice but then again it is a choice?

Miroku, my brother; my other best friend, the steady calm voice that tried to be the voice of reason. Do you think that you can work that magic once again? Will you understand my decision?

I turn to walk back to the tree, and sit once again in the same spot i sat ages ago.

What will you think if I left you with no way of bringing me back by force? Or if you somehow broke through the barrier, what will you do if you find that I am gone from the country? Will you still hunt me down? Give up and return to her? Maybe it's better I go without any note to you all.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know -_

_You forgot me long ago._

_Am I that unimportant...?_

_Am I so insignificant...?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'd be sacrificed,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

If I left my family and didn't tell them where I was, would it matter if he came to visit and they blamed him?

Mama...

Souta...

Grandpa...

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won t be home again._

_I know what you do to yourself,_

_Shudder deep and cry out:_

_"Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me? "_

_Even though I'd be sacrificed,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

What if I didn't even leave and just left a fake trail that ended in my death, well my assumed death, I know now that you don't care. I stare at my shirt that is torn to shreds and covered in blood...

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed,_

_Knowing you don't care._

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_And wake without you there,_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something..._

_Even though I'd be sacrificed,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

I know that I should have never lost my heart long ago, but I couldn't resist you and your rude behavior, your protectiveness...then I think of all the times you have called me worthless, useless, and am only worthwhile as long as I'm your shard detector...

I am so focused on my thoughts, and resolute in myself worth, completely desensitize to everything, that hearing a foot crush a dead branch, doesn't even make me jump, all I can do is look in the direction of the snap, and I see a flash of red and the glint of amber eyes in the shadow of the trees. I feel slow and realized that it wouldn't be him I know that he is still busy with...

Her...

I zone back out trusting my miko powers to warn me of dangers...and forget about the imaginary eyes as I stand and make my way to the Bone Eater's Well. As I sit upon the lip of the well, gathering the last of my strength for my final leap through time, I am coming up with ways to seal the well, short of blowing it up.

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

I know that the one person I want to miss me never will….

Goodbye, Inuyasha….

A/N:

I do not own Inuyasha, nor the songs Missing by Evanescence, Numb or Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park (used in future chapters).

I do however own the plot and the storyline.

Please read and review.

-Serpentine


	2. Part II: Forging Ahead

**Part Two**

**Forging Ahead**

I stopped myself from jumping down the well to go back to say my final goodbye. The moment that I started to travel through the trees to return to the time portal that brought me to this world, I turned back to glance one more time at the tree that has been a never ending presence through all of my life. The tree becomes blurred as I slowly reach out to touch the tree, my tears falling down my chin and hitting the ground. I place my head upon the tree as a goodbye, I close my eyes and the scene replays like a broken record. I force my eyes open and with a renewal of will power. I turn from the tree and follow the path once again to the well.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless lost under the surface_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

I made my decision.

I am not gonna be just your shard detector.

I am not gonna sit around idly and be loyal to someone who is so….

so…

I can't even think of a word to describe you.

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired_

_So much more aware_

_I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

I know what I am going to do. I took out the one thing that I used to think of as my responsibility, the thing I was willing to give you that I figured you would want more than life.

I reached the portal and wished I hadn't left the arrows behind. I still fill as though I am being watched but I know that it's the last time that I will be in this world. I remember all the fights and sits that ensued every time I tried to leave to go back to my time. Now there is no arguing. There will be no sits.

All the times you tried to keep me here just so I could be your damn shard detector.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me_

_Holding too tightly afraid to lose control_

_Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take_

I understand that she is your perfect woman and that I am only a mere child when it comes to my skills and my abilities as a miko. I tried being like her, I tried combining her talent to my personality and you still don't see me…

You see her.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

I know that I never wanted this pain.

I never wanted to cause all the suffering that this world has gone through because of me.

But, I can change it all. I can change…

Me. I can fix all the wrong that has happened.

I can…move on. Give you the chance to have the lives you all wanted.

_And I know_

_I may end up failing too_

_But I know_

_You were just like me with someone disappointed in you_

As the blue glow of the time portal flows and pulses around me, I vow never to come back. Never to let you cross my mind. Never wish that things could have worked out the way I had hoped. As I feel the pull of time slow and releases its grasp on me, I look up to the roof of the well house on my families shrine grounds. This will be the last time I will see this place. I climb up the stairs, slowly, so I can see everything that I felt some kind of connection with. The connection that I am ripping apart so that I will not wish to return.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

I will be something. I will move on. You will not come after me, nor will find me.

I am slowly losing all feelings. My emotions are being trapped in a vault deep within.

I can survive without you.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

I have been walking to my house when I feel a breeze caress my skin, a tingling in my senses that has me placing a barrier to protect me. Through the years, my abilities has increased. I don't just shoot mere arrows wrapped in my spiritual powers. I don't purify things with a mere touch. And my lack of being able to produce a barrier short of me being unconscious, is laughable now. I can use anything as a projectile and surround it in so much power that can leave a crater and I still have power left over. I can purify with a mere thought and my barriers can cover at the least a half a mile radius of where I am or what I wish to protect. The tingling feeling goes away. I race up to my room to begin packing. This is my last day in Japan.

I am leaving to begin again.


	3. Part III: A New Beginning

**Part Three**

**A new beginning**

As I traveled from the home, city, and country that I was born and raised to a land that I only learned about in school, I could only remember the final battle before I finally gave up… I thought about using the jewel, to change the past, to fix everything that went wrong but…that's not what I figured would be best for everyone. I tried to find another solution for me but I accept this responsibility, I know that I could have confronted you but I knew that it wouldn't change anything…

I sit here on this plane, looking out of the window over my country that I went 500 years in the past to protect

_I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared_

I wonder if you have bothered to try and find me…

Try and have used the well…

Gone and berated everyone,

but yourself,

on letting me leave…

The vow I made as I made my decision to leave is broken but I wonder if I need to understand what went wrong and learn from my mistake, better yet, mistakes.

_After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here_

I know that all will be better now that I am gone. You finally have no distraction from HER and I know that you will hate me more than ever since I stole your only means of changing the man that I…the man that you are.

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

I want you to forget me as I am going to try and forget you. I want you to at least think of all the good times we had as a fond memory.

Shippo… No, I can't think of my son…they all will hate me once they see what happened. Nor can I think of Sango, my sister and her soon to be husband, Miroku.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed  
And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest_

A few hours have passed as I fell into a fitful sleep; soon the wheels of the plane have touched down on American soil, jarring me into consciousness…making me realize that it wasn't all a dream….that I truly left everything I ever knew because of you…..

_Don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating  
I've shared what I made_

Year after year after year of endless battles, YOU still thought of me as weak, a human not good enough for any other title other than…

_I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you_

Shard Detector….

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

So here I am travelling in this foreign country, thankfully I learned enough English to get by.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory_

I know that you are so ecstatic that I am gone…..And as the rising sun's rays grace upon the landscape of San Diego, California, I am slowly shedding the remaining ties that kept me chained to the shrine, and to you.

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest_

As I grab the last of my belongings, I trek out of the airport and head out to the cab and taxi lanes. I wonder what I can do now that I don't have the safety net of my family to hold me and protect me…

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well  
Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are_

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory_

I am living for myself and all that I felt for you is in the vault about to be dropped into the deep sea of my self control. I hope things work out for the best.

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest  
Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well  
Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are  
I can't be who you are_

I am me. I am my own person. I will not change to suite someone else's idea of who I should be. I am the protector of the Jewel of Four Souls. I am powerful. I am a force to be reckoned with.

I am Kagome Higurashi.


End file.
